21weeks

21 weeks today. baby is kicking like crazy - mostly when i'm at work and right after i go to bed. i love the feeling.

what i don't love is this sore back! my lower back is killing me these days. i know it's most likely caused by this stupid chair at work, but not much i can do. oh well.

feeling ok. glad the stress of christmas is over, and now we're just trying to get back into the swing of things. the kids are still on the sugar high, so it's hard to get them to calm down!

haven't gone to the doctor re: tumour. i just can't deal with it right now. at my next OB appointment i will ask her for more information and go from there. that's in 10 days, so i'm sure i can wait.

today i have another ultrasound. this one is a private one, ian and i booked it to be sure about the sex of this baby! i've been trying to prepare myself all week for the possibility that the first tech was wrong and we're having a boy. today, the kids and ian are coming, so it will be a nice family experience. they take 30-45 minutes, and you can ask all the questions you want, which is nice. also - no full bladder needed! hurray! i will resist the urge to ask her to take a quick peek at my spleen. today is a day for good news and visiting with baby.

i'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that this is our last baby. it's hard! logistically, i know that we just can't have any more kids. but i love being a mom. i love infants, and toddlers, and every stage. even though i'm run off my feet most of the time, at the end of the day, i wouldn't have it any other way.

maybe, if we win the lottery someday, we can have another one! on the other hand - to be 30 and done, well, that's a treat too - we'll be kid-free (in theory) by the time we're 48.

who knows.

in any case, i'm so excited for the future. spring is my absolute favourite time of the year, i look forward too it from November on, so to have a new baby coming at that time just adds to the bliss. i really hope that i can find some time to just BE with baby - cohen and lili at school, ian at work, whatever.

we're trying to figure out paternity leave for ian - they make it rather difficult. ideally, we'd love to have him take about 3 weeks off after the birth, go back to work, and then i would go back to work (perhaps) after 9 months, and he could have the last 2 months. however, it doesn't work that way. he has to take it consecutively, which means that both of us will have to be on leave at the same time. which is financially difficult. so i'm not sure what we'll do. he may just have to wait until the tail-end of my leave, and take a few months then. which will be hard - not having him for the first few weeks.

ok, have a meeting in 20 minutes gotta prep for, later!