quick update

had a dr's appointment today - but to my dismay, i saw a resident rather than my doc. she did say that everything on the u/s looked fine, the baby is measuring in the 50th percentile (aka perfect), and is about 2kgs.

my blood pressure was rather low today - 110/50 - but otherwise i'm fine too.

she listened to the heartbeat (which she couldn't find at first), and then was done.

"uh, is the baby still breech?" i asked. "oh, the baby was breech?"

did you even LOOK at the u/s??? is what i wanted to say. "uh huh" is what i did say.

"well, i couldn't really tell how the baby is" she says. argh. she must have sensed my frustration, because she went and got my doc.

rather than try and figure it out, she is just sending me for another u/s in 3 weeks, which is fine. i'm pretty sure that baby has turned, so i'm not worried.

baby is also measuring exactly right according to the original dates, which is a relief.

so, everything is a-ok, another 2 weeks until i see the doc again, so we'll just keep on truckin!

oh - and i'm 90% sure we've finally decided on a name.

m!

The final 7.5 weeks...ever

It's hard to wrap my mind around it. This is the last time I will be pregnant... ever.

I'm trying to enjoy it, really, I am. Lack of sleep is not helping! I do love it, when I wake up in the morning (for the last time), I love spending 10 minutes with my hand on my belly, feeling the kicks.

I'm looking forward to the birth - I know what has to be done, and I know I'm strong enough to do it. I also know that intense, indescribable joy that will come as soon as she is born. For so long, this little one has been a debate - should we, shouldn't we - so to meet her finally, this will be a great moment.

I have to admit, I am ready to be done with pregnancy. Originally, when Ian said this would be our last, I sort of said "ok, uh huh, sure", not meaning it. But now, I have a definate sense of completion. I miss my body, I miss my energy, I miss drinking (I know, it sounds silly, I didn't miss it the first time around, but this time especially, I really miss it). I'm also ready to start experiencing all of the firsts - for the last time.

It'll be weird - a very, very important chapter in my life, closed. It makes me think - we have showers for our first pregnancies... we should have showers for our last, too! A good-bye to pregnancy shower! Maybe I'll throw myself one... after baby, so I can bring the wine ;)

I wish I could find the words to describe what being a mom has meant to me. It has changed everything.

So, as I begin the last 7.5 weeks of this pregnancy, of pregnancy in general... give or take a week or two, I am trying to enjoy myself. So many lasts - the last time I'll set up a crib, or fill out cord-donation paperwork, or buy size 0-3mth clothing!

In the meantime, I'm making a list of what to bring to the hospital (last time, I stayed 6 hours after birth... this time, I'm thinking I'll stretch out the stay as long as I possibly can, enjoy the time with just baby!), and at the same time, planning my workout routine for post-baby.

I've also just found out -totally off topic- that there is a place in Calgary, called Entrees Express, where you go and pick your menu, put together your own meals etc etc. It's a pretty good deal, (especially if you bring the meals home and divide them into smaller meals), and I was seriously thinking of treating myself to this post-baby. Well, turns out, if you have a new baby, they will put the meals together, and deliver it for you, at no charge! What a great idea. Only... for some reason their website isn't working! Darnit! Oh well, I will call tomorrow.

Ok ok, way past my bedtime. Baby has the hiccups right now, so I'm gonna roll over and hopefully get some sleep despite the rhythmic hiccups going on!

M.

32 weeks, 3 days

Well, it was a very interesting weekend. For me, anyway. I am beginning to see a very clear manic/depressive side to this pregnancy. Although, it's more manic/asleep. I exist in only those two states currently. Well, if not asleep, nearly asleep.

This long weekend, I was in bed each night by 10, and did not awaken before 8:30 (yay for no ballet class!). I was usually able to stay awake long enough to feed the kids breakfast, after which I would fall asleep again, usually for another hour or two. Then I'd get up, get a few things done, and log another 30 minutes or so of sleep. Once early afternoon hit - manic! Which is good, otherwise this weekend would have been a total write-off.

I finally make some decisions on the furniture/room situation - no way could I fit Cohen and Lili in the same room. So, Cohen keeps his room (which he deserves, as the oldest and only boy), and Lili and baby are going to share a room. This works really well when I think about it - Lili is a very deep sleeper, and a very quiet sleeper. She's also the one that can be awakened and fall back to sleep with no help. Lili's room is the biggest, so there is space to share - it'll be crowded, but it'll work. Her room is already pink (which we were trying to figure out what to do with for poor Cohen), and although I was going to paint baby's room NOT pink, the bedding I bought does have some pink in it, so it will still look cute. And hurray for not having to paint another room entirely! Lili's room is also right across from our bedroom, which will be convenient as well. It has the largest closet, more than enough for the two girls (yah right).

Once I made the decision, I sprung into action. Ian was at work, so I just pulled up my sleeves and did it - moved Lili's bed, took out the toddler bed (J will sleep downstairs now), moved the bookshelf, put the changetable in (which I hate - got it for free but don't love it, going to keep looking for another one), took the desk out. My neighbors had been storing our crib, so I had them bring that over, and hopefully Ian will put it together today.

Now that the decision is made, I am excited to let the kids decorate some as well. We'd been in limbo, really, so they have nothing on their walls. We're going to paint daisy's around the border of Lili's room, and hopefully I can find a twin duvet with a daisy/flower theme for her birthday. I also am going to either paint their names over their beds, or have some wooden letters made up.

And Cohen - well, we finally got his new bed in, and Ian promised he'd get the dresser set up today. I also told him we'd take him shopping for some posters etc to put up. He's pretty excited - although at first he was somewhat disappointed that he wouldn't be sharing with Lili, as those two are such good friends.

So, I feel really, really great that their rooms are cleaned and on their way to being ready. Now that we've almost finished sorting that out, we can start working on the basement, getting the room for J & B set up and decorated for them, and finishing the play room, getting the "gym" set up for me post-baby (I dream about working out all the time, can't wait to get back at it).

S & K and I also did some chatting about the back yard - moving the shed, taking down a few trees (they're pretty much dead), rototilling (sp?) the vegetable garden (it's HUGE, I can't wait), cleaning up the raspberry bushes (we get more raspberries every summer than I could have ever imagined), putting a new railing up on the deck, etc etc. It made me so excited for spring...and of course, it snowed this morning LOL! I haven't yet chatted with them re: the kitchen floor, but it's going to get done this summer, dammit!

So yes, when I'm not sleeping, I'm nesting.

Speaking of sleeping - I think I figured out what's going on. I don't think I'm sleeping very well at night. Last night, Ian didn't come to bed until 4am (it's his long change, so that's normal), and when he crawled into bed I realized, to my surprise, that not only was I awake, I'd been awake for some time. I'm pretty sure I drifted off a few times between then and 7 when I got up, but I can distinctly remember checking the clock at least 3 or 4 times between. Argh, how frustrating.

Anyhoo.

I also received a nice surprise on Sunday - a baby gift from Jill! It's the first gift, so it was pretty special :) I will post some photos of the gifts as soon as I get a chance... in the meantime, thanks Jill! I'm so sad I didn't get a chance to meet Harry on this trip.

Alrightie, back to work.
M

turn baby, turn!

so, i'm sitting here, at work, doing my thing... and suddenly...

i almost get knocked out of my chair.

i think baby decided that she didn't like having her head stuck up in my ribs anymore, and she turned.

no way to describe that feeling!

i don't see my doc until wednesday, so we'll see i guess. although, i suspect i will know for sure once i have a chance to lie down and monitor the kicking - hopefully it will no longer be aimed at my hipbones!

m.

U/S #3

Well, I just finished my third ultrasound. I was scheduled to have a biophysical profile done, because I was measuring large.

It was a lot more uncomfortable this time around - lying on my back for any length of time is not fun. I also went to a different clinic than usual, and this one was far less patient-friendly. I won't get into it, but let's just say I should have forgone convenience and stuck with my usual clinic.

The tech was rather concerned at first because baby wasn't moving much at all. I had eaten on schedule, so she should have been doing more. Towards the last 10 minutes, she finally "woke up" and started moving around some, which was a big relief for me. She is in full breech, which also made things more difficult for the tech.

As expected, the tech could not tell me much. She said she scored 8/8, which is great news - she's practicing her breathing, her h/r is perfect, she showed good movements etc. But as for the size, the tech wouldn't discuss it. I'm hoping that the reason I'm measuring large is because she's breech. I guess I'll have to wait and see. My next appointment is in 1.5 weeks, so I'm going to try and keep my mind off of it.

The most distressing part of the whole ultrasound was when she decided (for whatever reason, not sure if my Doc ordered it or what) to take a peek at the tumour on my spleen. I'm sure she thought I wouldn't know what she was doing, but unfortunately for her, my knowledge of anatomy and physiology is pretty much at the level of an EMT after 2 years at my job. I knew exactly what she was looking at.

It was very disturbing to see - this ominous black spot on the screen. She spent a long time looking at it - almost more time than she spent on baby.

I've tried really hard to keep this out of my mind during the pregnancy. There's nothing I can do, really, so why worry? So, silly or not, I'm pissed off that she put it back in my head again. I am going to ask my doctor if she had requested that or not. If she had, I want to make it clear that I want to be better prepared for things like that.

Anyways, baby seems to be doing ok, not that they would tell me otherwise. Hopefully I'll have some specifics in the next few weeks.

M.

30 weeks, 5 days

I haven't been feeling well lately. Lots of dizzy spells - usually preceded by a racing pulse and nausea... and then I get extremely tired. I've been chalking it up to pure exhaustion - the pressure at work currently is huge, and when added to the demands at home, I'm just plain old tired.

Now some new fun-pregnancy symptoms: lots of pressure "down there", which makes it hard to walk or stand comfortably.... and yesterday, some pink mucous. These are all pretty normal... but I didn't experience them previously until I was closer to 38 weeks.

Today I had my monthly (and now bi-weekly) Dr appointment. She's somewhat puzzled by the dizzy spells - it's probably nothing, but we're taking advantage of my working situation to do some further investigation - next time it happens at work, I'm to ask one of the paramedic instructors to do a 12-lead ECG on me, and fax the strip to her at work. Nothing like saving the health care system some money, haha.

Everything has been normal to this point - normal blood tests, normal weight gain, normal blood pressure. Everything was fine, until...

She pulled my shirt up. "WOW", she says. "Wow????" I ask. "Let's measure you right now", she replied.

Sure enough, I'm measuring at 35-36 weeks, not 30. It's "probably nothing"... but I have to go have an ultrasound to be sure. And of course, despite the ultrasound clinic being literally under my feet (they're right downstairs from my office), they can't get me in until Monday.

I'm not super-concerned - there are lots of "normal" reasons for measuring large, including the baby being breech - and in fact, if it weren't for the other issues, I probably wouldn't give it any thought. But... the fact is, I'm a pregnant woman, and pregnant women worry. Period!

Still not much progress on the name, by the way. I'm almost thinking we should just go back to our first choice. I do not want to be shouting out names in the car while I'm in labour, the way we did with Lili. "But that was fun," says Ian.

Ha. Fun. (What was fun was seeing him run into the Tim Hortons, push through the dozens of people in line, and yell "my wife is in labour and she wants a muffin, NOW!")

Anyways. Worries aside - we're no closer to being ready. The house is a mess, we haven't figured out the rooms, I haven't chosen paint, (or bought paint, or painted), I set up the cradle or the crib, I haven't done ANY shopping beyond one short trip months ago, I have no idea where our infant carseat is, I haven't packed a hospital bag... I haven't even started making arrangements for the kids when I do go into labour. Sheesh. You may be thinking, well, you still have 9 weeks! Really? Well, last I checked I had 20 weeks to go, so that should tell you how fast these weeks are going! And if it turns out that baby really is measuring at 35 weeks... well, you do the math!

Anyone wanna come over this weekend and help me paint?

29 weeks

panic!

time is running out. god help me if this little girl comes early.

maybe i'll put a schedule together.

29 - purchase paint for room
30 - purchase gifts for cohen/lili
31 - get cradle ready
32 - paint baby room, paint kids room
33 - pack hospital bag for me AND ian
34 - put up crib/changetable
35 - get carseat ready. wait. find carseat first. then wash it, put it in car.
36 - lili's birthday week! no baby stuff.
37 - put in new floors in kitchen. yeah, gotta put that somewhere, preferably before baby! last week of work.
38 - birthday week: get pedi/manicure, get hair done. treat self to dinner and a movie. maybe invite hubby, if he's nice.
39 - spend lots of time with cohen/lili. do random nesting chores, like washing curtains, re-organizing cupboards, etc etc.
40 - give birth.

there. i'm all set. chances are that all of the above (other than giving birth, i hope) will happen in one week - 39. but hope springs eternal.

currently, baby has the hiccups.

i keep telling myself - 11 more weeks of being pregnant... ever. how crazy is that? i thought maybe i'd be more sad, but to be honest, i'm feeling more and more secure with the decision that this will be our last. i miss my body - a lot - (i understand i have to gain weight, but why is it all going straight to my ass?) and can't wait to start working out again. i miss going out for drinks with my friends (oh my GOD do i miss this). i'm tired of maternity clothes. i'm tired of swollen feet. i'm tired of getting up and peeing 3x during the night. i'm tired of snacking on Tums. i'm tired of not being able to get on the ice and skate with my kids. i'm tired of really feeling like i'm not that young anymore! i'm tired of my body feeling old but my skin feeling young - as in, the teenage years, and zits!

i consider myself SO very lucky for being able to get pregnant so easily 3 times, low-risk pregnancies, healthy, everything easy. however, i'm done!

we're still having issues with names. we have 4 still, and i think we'll end up waiting until we meet the little lady before we decide. which is too bad, because i wanted to have some wall-letters made up for her room, but it'll have to wait.

ok, it's WAY past my bedtime! lili has her parent-viewing day at ballet tomorrow at 9am so i'd better rest this tired body! the good thing is, ian's on nights tonight, which means that he'll get home around 7am and make us pancakes! i love it, it's so sweet that he does that whenever his nights fall on weekends. we get breakfast together, then off he goes to bed for the day.

m.