Freaking Out

so today was u/s #4. supposedly, it was just to find out if baby was still breech. i was pretty sure that baby had turned a few days after my last u/s, but i was still pretty nervous.

well, baby is not breech. she's kinda sideways, actually, silly muffin. but, mostly head-down, and basically the positioning is "normal".

so that's all fine and great. except, about half-way through the u/s, the tech (who, mind you, doesn't speak english all that well) asks me if i had an u/s around 18-20 weeks. i said, why, yes, i did. her reply scared the hell outta me:

"did they tell you if there was anything wrong?"

my heart stopped! "no," i said... "they didn't say anything was wrong".

"are you sure?" she said.

i could barely speak. i told her that there was a small shadow on the baby's heart, but it wasn't there at my next u/s.

her reply "nothing else at all?"

i'd had enough. "is there something wrong????" i ask.

"you'll need to speak to your doctor, i can't say"

bitch! i'm sorry, but i work in health care! she never should have asked. she should have left the room, and requested to have my u/s report faxed to her, which would take minutes. i know the procedure.

so i'm freaking out. i'm freaking out because of that "very small" chance that this baby has downs syndrome, based on the shadow they saw. i'm freaking out because i looked at the screen, and i know she was looking at the baby's heart when she was asking me all of this.

i'm trying to tell myself that it is a language issue, and she was just asking an innocent question. i'm trying to tell myself that maybe she saw the tumour on my spleen and was actually referring to that.

i called my mom... she says to call my doctor and tell them what happened. my next appointment isn't for over a week, so i shouldn't have to wait that long! i haven't called ian yet... he's stressed out enough today as is (he's working with a partner he can't stand).

ok. calling my dr. i hate to be one of "those people" but this is just ridiculous!

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