A Trip to the Doctor's Office... or: I must be INSANE

I planned ahead. A lot. I put the kids' clothes out before we went to sleep. I packed some snacks in the event of a long wait. I set my alarm for 6am! for a 9:30 appointment. Here's how it turned out:

6am - alarm goes off. apparently. i never heard it.
7:25am - i wake up, cursing. for once, all three kids have slept in.
7:30am - shower
7:40am - get dressed
7:45am - nurse luci
8:00am - wake up Lili, practically carry her into the bathroom, and shower her. not sure she ever woke up during this process.
8:15am - wake up Cohen, no time for a shower, make kids cereal, manage to wolf down a few bites myself
8:30am - get kids dressed, nurse Luci. Notice she smells like sour milk.
8:40am - give Luci a bath
8:45am - pack up the bag - proud of myself for remembering snacks.
8:50am - load everyone into the van
8:51am - frantically search for keys. i check my bag, my other bag, the van, the table in the foyer, the kitchen, the dining room, my bedroom. no luck. remember that i took said keys to the park yesterday, and that my bag fell over not once but three times. keys are probably at the park.
8:55am - phone my brother in a panic. ask if he can come by and loan me his car. i had to make these dr appointments 3 months in advance. no way am i missing them.
9:00am - brother arrives, we load everyone into HIS car, drop him off, and we're on our way.
9:15am - arrive at Dr office downtown. as usual, there is no parking. we circle the block once, twice, three times, four times. i finally spot an open parking meter, and we swoop in. i check my wallet - no change. luckily i spot a toonie on the floor of my brothers car.
9:20am - put toonie into meter. meter makes satisfying "clink" sound, but the minutes do not appear. meter is in fact taunting me with flashing zeros. i expand my childrens' vocabulary by introducing them to some new and exotic curse words. decide that we'll take our chances and leave the car parked by the evil meter.
9:25am - we're in the waiting room, 5 minutes early. i heave a huge sigh of relief, and settle in to read a book to the kids. Luci is sleeping. all is well.
9:30am - (right on time, how often does THAT happen?) my doc comes out to gather us up. we enter what must be the worlds smallest and HOTTEST examination room. the kids are immediately cranky. luci starts to cry. doc is trying to catch up by asking me a zillion questions about their lastest viral infection. i'm trying to remember everything i wanted to ask him. he wants to chat about luci's birth. i want him to examine cohen and lili and get us the hell outta there.
9:35am - luci starts making really great faces. everyone laughs but me - i know what the faces mean
9:40am - luci starts to cry. i take her out of the carseat, and try and calm her, which i already know will do no good. the sweetie has pooped (i'd know her poop faces anywhere), and hates sitting in it. i mentally review everything i put in the bag: i know i threw in a diaper at the last minute, but it is unlikely that i remembered wipes. she pooped yesterday, you see, and typically only poops once per week.
9:45am - doc asks me to get lili undressed. i put luci down in her carseat. glance down at my pristine white skirt... which is now covered in 5-6 spots of luci poop. i restrain myself this time, and curse silently. i can now feel the sweat trickling down my back. grab some paper towels with one hand, and tug at lili's pants with the other.
9:50am - doc casually mentions that my u/s results came back - the tumour is benign. !!!!!!! i will have to have a CAT scan once every year, but other than that, i'm clear.
10:00am - doc proclaims the kids are healthy. i change luci's diaper (no wipes - but paper towels + water do the job), grab the kids their suckers, and we're off.

no ticket on my brothers windsheild - hurray.

10:30am - arrive home, with healthy kids and a headache and a benign tumour but still no keys (I checked the park).

note to self: ask mom or friend to accompany me to the next dr appointment. an extra set of hands will come in handy!