November 26, 2008

The Good, The Bad, and The UGLY

I've had a few people this week comment on my previous post about our "Music Practice Time". Comments have ranged from kudos to disbelief...and one rather odd anonymous comment stating that I'm pushing my children too hard and they will grow up to resent me for it.

Well, to that person (whose comment I deleted, thank you very much) I would say that yes, I do push my children. I push them to work hard, try their very best, and bask in the rewards of success AND failure, which are, in my humble opinion, equally important.

A good example of this lesson came yesterday at Lili's swimming lesson. Last week, at the end of class, the teacher had all of the children jump off of the diving board. Lili has done this before, but not for several months. Last week she walked to the end of the board, and stood there for what seemed an eternity. Ian and I were frozen in the stands, silently urging her on. I could see that her teacher was talking to her, and I could also see that Lili wasn't listening - she was focused 100% on the water below. After a few minutes, she walked back to the ladder and it seemed that she was going to climb down. However, I could see her actually clench her fists, and then she walked back to the end of the board, took a deep breath and jumped.

I was overcome with pride - not only that she jumped, but that she came so close to giving up and made that decision to try it anyway. After class I asked her what she was thinking while she was up there. She said "my body was scared... but my brain kept telling me 'try, try again'". Success! Something we've long strived to teach our children has stuck!

Now, in case everyone out there is thinking that I'm either a) a super-mom wannabe or b) full of bs, let me tell you about yesterday's swimming lesson and indeed, the subsequent "Music Practice Time" that followed.

Yesterday, Lili got on the diving board and once again walked to the end. She stood there, once again, for a long period of time. Longer, even, than last week. I could tell because the kids waiting in line behind her were actually yelling at her to jump. Her teacher was gesticulating like crazy. Lili just stood there. And stood there. And stood there.

Finally, after what must have been a solid 5 minutes, she gave up and climbed back down the ladder.

My heart sank.

After class, I asked her again what she was thinking about. This time she replied "Mom, I was sure if I jumped I'd sink down to the bottom". "Lili," I reminded her, "you were wearing a life jacket, you can't sink" "OH YEAH!!!!" she laughed, "next time I will make sure my brain remembers that".

Huh.

When we got home, the kids were hyper. Ian and I tried to get them calmed down so that we could have some good practice time. Well, let me tell ya - we had practice time all right... after 3 time-outs and one very poorly-thought-up bribe involving ice cream before bed.

In case you don't know, solfege sung through tears is a pitiful sound.

This doesn't happen often here, but it does happen. I don't want them to be turned off of music because of these infrequent bad evenings...but on the other hand, if they think that they can get out of practice time just by acting up, well, then I'm really in trouble.

So, rest assured - practice time is not always a walk in the park. I'm strict about it though, I'll admit. I'm hoping that regular practice time is paving the way for regular homework time. We always follow regular practice time with regular reading time (followed by regular brush-your-teeth-time, and let's not forget regular whine-because-we're-not-tired-but-it's-bedtime time).

And don't forget - I've had a few years to develop the routine that works for us! Cohen has been in Kodaly for 3.5 years now, and I can honestly say that this is the first year that we are not practicing his songs for the first time while driving to class. I think a lot of it has to do with me being home this year.

We're not perfect... no-where near. But I'm proud that we've made music a priority in this house. I know that as reluctant as they may be now, they'll thank me later.

Which reminds me... thanks mom and dad!

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