October 12, 2009

Happy Turkey Day?

I've been sick all week. 9 days, now. The kids were sick too... but it's been really nice to be home with them.

Anytime I am able to spend a significant amount of time with my children, I begin to question the sanity of being a working mom. I LOVE being home with my kids. I actually even enjoy doing housework. After a few days, I start applying my creative mind to the home - chore charts, cleaning schedules, games, decor... and oh, the cooking. I LOVE cooking!! Yes, me, the take-out queen... I love to cook, and I love to bake. In the last few days, I have made a delicious roast chicken, a full turkey dinner, muffins, and cookies. The last time I baked... hmm, probably the last week of my mat leave.

I'm tired of the split-personality thing. I'm tired of feeling guilty. I worry that by the time I figure out what I want - the kids will be grown.

I started Lavish with the dream of working at home... the reality is, Lavish needs a lot more clients before I can make that leap. And in the meantime, I'm unfortunately stuck working 2 jobs, and therefore being even less available for my kids.

And so, I will continue on, feeling guilty and juggling a million balls at once. But I vow that I will make the time for snuggles on the couch, baking cookies and experimenting with new recipes every chance that I get!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm thankful (despite my whining) for everything I've got. This year has been one of the hardest of my life (one challenge after another, broken hearts, new careers, new jobs, lost friends, lost role-models, lawsuits, health issues etc!) but I have never lost sight of those who have supported me - family and friends - and the warm hugs of my kids and husband have helped me keep everything in perspective. I'm so blessed to have such a great family, such great friends... especially my "girls-night" ladies... without our bi-weekly pub nights, I am sure I would have gone crazy long ago.


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